Danny Tice

Life can get out of whack sometimes.

What I mean by that is we can get our focus all wrong.  We can worry way too much about things that really shouldn’t matter very much, while ignoring the things that should matter a great deal.

Tonight my granddaughter Willow Grace (2 1/2 years old) was over to our house.  She was having a great time running in the house and laughing.  She kept coming up to me saying, “Chase me Papa, chase me.”  I climbed down from the barstool and began to chase her around the house. I am sure I should have been scolding her for running in the house but she was having such a good time I couldn’t bring myself to spoil her fun.  She was totally in the moment.  All that mattered to her was laughing and trying to outrun her granddad.  After a good session of running, in which I caught her a few times, producing hysterical laughter from her, she climbed in my lap on the barstool.

Instantly she invented a new game where she tried to push against the bar with her little legs and put pressure against her Papa’s stomach.  I pretended she was knocking the wind out of me which made her laugh even more.  As she was laughing and I looked at her happy little face and I thought how simple life is for her.  I hope that she keeps her simple focus of loving life and enjoying the little things in life.  As adults, we rarely enjoy the moment.  We are either lamenting the past, with our failures and mistakes, or we are worried and are insecure about our future.  Children live in the moment while adults live in non-existent time. Non-existent time is the past which is over and the future which hasn’t happened yet. As I was chasing little Willow it occurred to me that I was still thinking about some things that tainted the moment.  I was thinking about mistakes I had made this week – things I am worried about in the immediate future and decisions that I still need to make.   While my mind was multi-tasking Willow was thinking about running and laughing.  She was teaching me that the best way to live is to enjoy every moment God gives you.  The past is out of my reach and the future is not here yet so what I have is now.  And now is a gift from God.

We can either seize it and love it- or squander it and lose it.

Willow’s laugh is a laugh of freedom. She is my teacher at two and half years old.  I want to become more like her.  Jesus held up little children in his ministry as our model for a reason.  Their minds have not become polluted and complicated by the world they live in.  They have just discovered it is really fun to outrun their granddad.

Apologies are hard. I think apologies are hard because we must die to our pride and ego in order to apologize. Over the last thirty years of being a Pastor I have had to apologize many times. It never gets easier to apologize. The fiftieth time apologizing is no easier than the first time. Each apology is a fresh death to self and is equally hard each time. I think apologies are especially hard for leaders. Leaders must be strong; leaders must be confident – to apologize seems to display weakness. Some leaders feel more comfortable pretending they are not wrong. This is foolish. Being wrong is part of being human. Leaders are human and they should not deceive themselves about their own inconsistencies. Leaders sometimes make wrong decisions, forget to follow through on a promise or they can be terse or impatient with the people they serve and work with. For me the most painful apologies to make have to do with expressed frustration toward others in ministry. It has always been my goal to be longsuffering and patient with people on staff or in the church. I haven’t always succeeded. Moses’ impatience when he struck the rock in frustration, when the people complained of not having water, has always been a comfort to me. Moses’ retorted in anger: “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Numbers 20:11. The text goes on to say he struck the rock twice in frustration. He probably thought about whacking a few nearby Israelites on the noggin but expressed his frustration on the boulder in front of him. This is Moses’ leadership meltdown. We have all had moments like that. The mask comes off – the frustration escapes and people see a glimpse of our unmonitored emotions. Choleric personalities are the most vulnerable to being too intense in their communication with others in ministry. I wish I could say I have only read about this in books but I have been guilty of being too sharp with my tongue in times of pressure. A sharp word from a leader can wound quickly. We must be quick to repent and own our sin. Pride will seek to prevent us from doing this while humility will beckon us to repent. Failure to apologize to others when we have been verbally sharp shuts the hearts of people around us to our leadership. Humility will open their hearts and reestablish the connection between us. Repentance on a leader’s part can actually deepen the relationship with the wounded party. The most ironic thing about apologizing is admitting a mistake has the effect of increasing our influence with others. A caution here is in order. Occasional violations can be sustained in ministry relationships but too many repeated failures can permanently diminish trust. So let us work hard to maintain gentle and godly leadership in the church but when failure occurs, embrace humility and look the offended in the eyes and express your sorrow, regret and repentance. At that moment the pride of our heart is extinguished and the true spirit of God’s kingdom is evident in our hearts as we feel God smiling in our direction.

In my talk last week at both campuses of Bay Shore Community Church I talked about Abram making a huge decision to move his family to Egypt without first praying (see Genesis 12:10-13:1).

We learned this lesson: The bigger the decision the slower you should go and the more you should pray.

This was one of the scenes in Abram’s life story (Genesis 12-25) where he acted independently of God and did not pray before making a big leap into the future.

People do this all the time.

They marry quickly, go into business with some untested partner too quickly, and go into deep debt – all without consulting God.  Before a big decision slow down and pray.  As you are praying listen carefully before you leap into the dark.  When Abram got to Egypt, he had his wife Sarai lie about not being his wife but his sister – his life got complicated because he ended up in a place he was not supposed to be in (he took a wrong turn when he failed to pray.)  Abram was operating in fear instead of faith.  This is ironic because he later was known in scripture as the ultimate model of faith (see Romans 4).

Fear is having more confidence in your circumstances than you do in the Lord; faith is having more confidence in God than your circumstances.

So the big take away is when you have a big decision to make go slow and pray a lot.  Watch the final humorous story below from Sunday’s message to remind us that we should pray and listen hard before making a big decision.

I grew up in a strong religious home, a good home but perhaps a home that emphasized moral perfection more than the grace of God. That is why I love this verse found in Philippians.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 NIV

For religious perfectionists like me this verse is liberating. It basically says that God is committed to our total transformation; our behavior modification will be accomplished gradually and with his divine help. The verse also says that he will carry out the changes that need to happen in us. In short, for a perfectionist, God is more patient with us than we are with ourselves. We stand in a state of grace as God progressively sanctifies (changes our outward behavior and inward thoughts) and makes us into the image of his Son. Our status with God is secure as this process takes place.

Through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:2 NIV

We are justified (given right legal standing with God – see Romans 5:1) and we stand – that is we are established or secure – in God’s grace. That means that God holds us tightly in a state of grace as we are being graciously changed by God’s progressive work in our lives. This is true of people that are authentic followers of Jesus. If you are an authentic follower of Jesus -you have a deep desire to see your outward life change in order to match you new inner nature (new man, or regenerate person inside 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:22-23). A person who doesn’t really belong to Christ is not really concerned that much with seeing their external behavior change. There is no deep desire to be different – their passion in their life is not for Christ to transform them – but to seek their own agenda and pleasures in life. If you are a true Christ-follower you are not trying to see what you can get away with in God’s sight but you are longing for the day when the new man or woman inside of you will be fully manifested on the outside. The good news is – as you long for that to happen in your life – God is constantly at work to make that dream come true. In the meantime know that he is more patient with you than you are with yourself. He promised the ultimate change would become a reality.

Yesterday we had a very special baptism interview from Kim Miller who is dealing with cancer.  Kim’s story before her testimony is the most amazing example of authentic faith I have ever witnessed.  Kim illustrates that authentic faith and love for God is not based on perfect circumstances.  Take a moment and play the video – you won’t be the same after you watch it.